Holding Space for Emotions
- Me
- 20 hours ago
- 2 min read
Many people have not mastered the art of holding space for their emotions. I am one of those people. I am skilled at suppressing my emotions (no trophies are handed out for this superior skill!), but perhaps even more harmful is that I am even more skilled at diminishing my emotions. Holding space for feelings means creating a safe environment where emotions can be felt, shared, and accepted without judgment or interruption. A lesson that I am learning is that I cannot rely on others to hold or create space for my feelings. I must hold the space first. In doing so, I create trust within myself and also am able to construct healthier boundaries with others. Breaking news here...I do not need others to validate my feelings. I can validate them myself, and I can learn to accept them with kindness and introspection versus judgement or dismissal. Now if only I could figure out an easy way to do this...
What Does It Mean to Hold Space for Emotions?
Holding space is about being present with someone’s feelings (including your own) without trying to fix, judge, or change them. This can be so uncomfortable but it gets better with practice. I had an "aha moment" when I realized sitting with emotional discomfort when it happens is so much better than trying to suppress it because the discomfort simmering under the surface will burn you when it boils to the top. Why let yourself get burned?
When you hold space, you allow your emotions to breathe.
What does this mean? It means you do not have to suffocate! Pretty good outcome if you ask me!
Why Holding Space for Emotions Matters
Many people grow up in environments where emotions are dismissed or discouraged (I know I did!). This can lead to feelings of isolation, shame, or confusion about what they are experiencing. Holding space helps counteract these effects by:
Building trust: When someone feels heard and accepted, trust deepens.
Encouraging emotional expression: People are more likely to share when they feel safe.
Promoting healing: Processing emotions openly can reduce stress and anxiety.
Strengthening relationships: Emotional honesty fosters connection and understanding.
Supporting self-awareness: Reflecting on feelings helps individuals understand themselves better.
When you can learn to more frequently hold space for your own emotions, you will in turn begin to hold space for others emotions in a more healthy way. Holding space for emotions is a journey to promote growth. There is no need for perfection. In fact striving for perfection will put you right back into the cycle of shame. As Ashley Judd, as well as many others, have said: "Perfectionism is the highest order of self-abuse." Wave good-bye to perfectionism!